
Winnemucca to the Sea!
I recently came back from a work trip to Nevada. The map to the right shows the route I took – lots of great people, good history lessons about old mining towns, lots of random acts of generous hospitality (particular thanks to Midgene, Sarah and Devin, Sheila and Nathan, Tom and Margaret, Ken and Donna, Paul and Nancy), and caves!
There is also lots of road. Empty road.
While on the road from Las Vegas to Ely, I stopped in the only gas station in a tiny town (either Alamo or Ash Springs) to go to the bathroom. One of the unique features of every gas station bathroom in America is the condom dispenser. Does anybody actually buy condoms from the bathroom dispenser? Don’t answer that. Apparently, this bathroom specializes in patriotic prophylactics. Observe:

I think the best part is that this product is made in Korea.
While I’m exiting the restroom, I hear a sound that isn’t too comforting to a half Chinese kid in Eastern Nevada: gunshots. Thought #1: I don’t have an Obama sticker on my car. #2: Most white folks don’t know that I look Chinese, and I’m pretty sure I don’t look French. #3: I hope I didn’t steal any condoms.
Fortunately, someone was just shooting at a Coyote. I think he got away. Fortunately, the speed limit on Hwy. 93 is 70, so I got the hell out.
The stretch between Las Vegas and Ely is particularly desolate. There’s actually a stretch of U.S. Hwy. 50 that is officially called “The Loneliest Road.” One of the more lonely features of this region is the fact that radio signals aren’t too powerful. There was one radio program, however, that was coming in crystal clear: Dr. Laura.
Since I forgot the cord that would have connected my blackberry music player to the car stereo, I figured, what the hell? Dr. Laura is a pretty interesting cat. She basically runs a the third most popular radio show in America (after Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity). Most of the conversations seemed to go something like this:
Woman 1: Hi, I’m my kid’s mom. I have a perfectly reasonable question about my kid’s behavior and how I should respond to it. I am asking you the question now.
Dr. Laura: Wait a minute… I will now spend the next two minutes ridiculing you for not knowing the answer to this perfectly legitimate question. Do you live on planet earth? Are you mental? Do you buy French condoms?
Woman 1: Um… I love your show, so I probably live on planet earth. Does that make me mental?
Dr. Laura: Your problem is simple. Your kid to stop letting your kid be such a dickass. It is YOUR FAULT that your kid is such a dickass.
Woman 1: Wow, you are so wise.
Dr. Laura: Yes. I shall now promote my book for the next six minutes.
I proceeded to but a cord connecting my blackberry to the car stereo in a town called Caliente. Ironically, it was kind of chilly there.